RESTRAINT MANNERS FOR BABIES - Asking to Get Down, by Julie Daniels

I am not a person who trains my little one to come up and sit politely at a very young age. I err on the side of effusive greetings while the baby is very young. Pure glee about people. I want that strong response whenever the baby sees people. I don't want the attraction to be tempered by responsibility. Yet.

So my babies go barreling up to anyone and are generally a happy nuisance while they are small. We'll do a lot more with manners and polite greeting, including the neat tuck sit in front that is so useful for life skills as well as competition obedience. But let's not go there just yet. I want to show you one of the very first politeness exercises which I enjoy with my puppies. This is a combination of self-control and cooperation which a very young puppy can learn and use to advantage.

When it's time for a little active self-control, say 10 weeks or so in my book, I begin with something very simple and extremely useful for those later “hurry up and wait” activities in all dog sports.

I show the puppy how to train me to put them on the ground when they want to get down.

Babies have a tough time of it in the arms of humans. It's safe and comfy, but they have no say in what they get to touch and what they get to explore while they are being confined in our arms. So after awhile a kid just wants to get free. A kid wants to explore some more from ground level. How to tell the people. How to get away. They whine and squirm, and if that doesn't work then they bite and struggle.

If you think about it, those are about the only ways which the puppy has to tell us he wants to get down. So I say we work with that. Rather than force the pup to be quiet in our arms, we can be sympathetic without creating a brat. We can make a training session out of putting the puppy down, many times a day. It's easy, and it is the beginning of a cooperative team effort which benefits us for life. The puppy learns that his needs will be met, and the puppy learns to be polite about getting what he wants.

I ask the baby to be soft and relaxed while I put him down. Puppies squirm in your arms when they want to get down. I know people who don't allow that, but I welcome it. I feel that it is about the only way the puppy can tell me that he is ready to explore. And I want the puppy to learn to operate on his world; that is, I want him to want to get down!

But I do not want the puppy to scrabble all the way to the floor. To instill some manners, I start by bending over (or you could sit in a chair) holding the puppy, and then I lower him smoothly to the floor. Unless he squirms, in which case I stop lowering him and instead I pick him up again. It only takes about two seconds to lower him to the floor from my bent-over position. That is only two seconds of self control of his feet. This is not difficult, but it is counterintuitive! So the first reps can take a while.

As days go on, I stand more upright and take longer to lower the puppy, each time standing up again and cradling the pup again if he squirms. In other words, I want to teach the puppy this: "I will put you down because you squirm, but I will not put you down WHILE you squirm." The puppy has to control his feet on the descent. This is something that a baby can learn to do.

This video of my Koolaid at 3 months old shows you how it turns out. This is a terrific lesson for a puppy. At a very young age your puppy can control his feet to get what he wants, and he can see it coming so he can measure his success. He is controlling his feet in order to control his freedom. See what you think. This is Koolaid demonstrating as a three-month-old. At three months she had this game down cold, several seconds. She owns that game, even though she is a very busy puppy whose feet never stop moving.

Check out her relaxation response on lowering! She makes it clear that she knows how to get what she wants, and she knows how to control her feet. And then see her immediately spring to action when she feels her paws on the floor. I promise you that if she can do it, your crazy puppy can do it too! This simple game will set the stage for lots of “wait, then explode” games later in his sports life as well. This is a great first impulse control game for the very young.

Koolaid How to Get Down

Koolaid still, a year later, is polite and relaxed about being picked up and lowered to the ground. You'll be very glad if you add this relaxation response to your handling.

I have variations for older pups and bigger pups! Let's talk about it!

Julie Daniels
Deerfield, NH