Growing Up FDSA - Free Ebook

Being your dog's advocate

It's tough having a reactive dog.  We feel constantly on the defensive, watching for every difficult situation, explaining our dog's behavior to those who don't understand, taking the blame when the people with the "friendly" dogs barrel off leash right up to us.  Or, we just don't go anywhere with them, for fear of these things.

Part of what you're learning in this class is how to get your dog out and about successfully, without big reactions occurring, and with your dog being controlled and hopefully feeling better in the process. The better you get at that, the more places you can go successfully. 

But management is what we do when our dogs need our help because they are too nervous or upset or emotional to regulate their behavior on their own.  If left to their own devices they'd "spin up," and with us there, they can focus a bit better, walk past the trigger, and keep the problematic behavior in check, at least while you're actively providing the support and structure they need to lean on. 

What's going on for them emotionally during all that? Well, it's hard to say for sure since we can't read minds, but we do know that if we needed to help them contain themselves and that if we didn't they'd bark and lunge and snark, then they can't be feeling good. A dog who is being successfully handled and managed and isn't acting out may look like he feels ok, but he very likely isn't. If he felt ok, we wouldn't need to be doing all that management!

So your chief concern when you're out with your reactive dog (or stressed dog, or shy dog, or any dog who isn't feeling emotionally positive and happy, even temporarily) is reducing that emotional negativity.  And that usually means space from their triggers! You don't always have the luxury of that space, which is of course why you're managing them, but your chief goal underlying all your actions should be to leave or to get the space you need at your very first opportunity.

Lingering in close proximity because things are going well due to your management gives you a false sense of security about where your dog is emotionally. He is behaving well, and it can give you some confidence that he will continue to behave well and that you have it all under control. But time is your enemy. The longer you're managing, and therefore the longer you're in proximity to your dog's trigger, the higher the chances are of that trigger changing in nature or strength and overwhelming your management strategy. New triggers show up, triggers change their behavior, and dogs get overwhelmed. Time spent is time risked.

Also, dogs fatigue. Keeping control of themselves, even with your total support and distraction, is a huge effort, and that wanes over time. Being over threshold emotionally, even if managed behaviorally, takes its toll.  They can only be managed for so long before the strategy loses its power and the behavior comes through.  You very likely only have a window of opportunity in which to help them get the distance and comfort they need, and when that closes, you're maybe back to where you started.

Each dog has a different timeline and path through this, of course.  For some, you have 15 seconds of management time and you must leave in that span or the reaction will come, and some have a whole weekend of time, where just keeping them crated far, and walking with a buffer zone around them will keep them fine and working well the whole time, up until the end of the second day when they're just too tired and can't keep things together anymore.  It's your responsibility to know what your dog's limits are and to respect them fully.

It is best, by far, to be proactive about your dog and what he needs. Articulate for yourself ahead of time what you know to be the distances your dog has been doing well with, and what kind of dogs or people or situations he struggles with. Know where you're going and what it's likely to be like there.  Will you have crating space? Will you have shade to park in? Will there be narrow corridors or waiting rooms, or clumped start gates or too much traffic or more men or kids than he usually sees?  Will there be lots of intact males (conformation show), lots of unexpected factors (a walk downtown, but it's a holiday today and families are out), lots of space pressure (and indoor trial with tight crating when you're used to outdoor trials and car crating). How about will there be windows facing the street in the house you're planning to visit?  Know ahead of time what you will see, and have a plan worked out in your head for keeping distance. If in doubt about this at all, consider not going.

So how do you keep distance? Of course, sometimes that just means moving away yourself, but far too often it means talking to people and directing them to give you the space you need. And for some of us, that can be uncomfortable.  Telling people that no, they cannot pet your dog, even though he may seem friendly, is hard.  What helps me be firm in my boundaries is connecting in that moment with what it would be like to be my dog and seeing what he really wants.  Does he like being touched by strangers? Usually not, though he tolerates it much of the time? Then say no on his behalf.

We often have to override what other people think about our dogs. They don't see our dogs the way we do, and if we're good at management, our dogs don't even look like they're having any trouble! We can seem over-protective, unrealistic, coddling or inexperienced and just open for unsolicited advice. 

Let it all roll off, and do what your dog needs.  When strangers try to engage me when I'm out with a reactive dog, my friendly and deferential nature says to talk to them, apologize for not being able to stop ("sorry, she's shy!"), and answer their questions ("oh, was she abused?" "Um, no, undersocialization in the critical period results in..." <nervously trying to leave>).  I control that part of me and look at my dog as people talk to me, and either look very busy with my training and my management and my leaving, or I talk to the stranger while looking at the dog ("yes, she's pretty, thanks!").  The less you look at someone and look like you're concentrating, the less they feel they can engage you and bother you.

When your problem is with dogs, you just get the distance you need or control your dog's head as best you can as they pass.  Look as unavailable to the people attached to them as possible so they don't come over. :)Sometimes all your best effort doesn't work and people or people and their dogs come up to you anyway. What then? If you're someone who is good at being firm and even rude, say what you must to stop them. Do it even if you're not good at it, haha.  I do not suggest you explain anything that opens a negotiation, like "can you stay back? My dog is shy," or "he's not good with other dogs/people."  That just invites them to offer a counter to it like "oh, all dogs love me" or "oooooh, is the widdle baby SHYYY????" which just means they're still coming!  Give a directive, say what you need to have happen.  Try "no thank you." It's often just strange enough to say since it doesn't really match whatever they just said that it gives people pause!  A pause may be all you need to turn away, to block them with your body, to turn your back or to leave.

The more you know about exactly what makes your dog uncomfortable and what they really need in a given situation, the less you'll be swayed by "oh, but dogs love me!" or "can't they just play? My dog is really good with dogs even if they're a little testy!" You'll know that it's non-negotiable that you keep a 20 foot distance, even if your dog is sometimes ok at 10, because staying well under your threshold is a way to ensure success.  And with dogs, each successful event influences the next event. You're teaching her what to expect from outing with you! After all, she's tied to you, and makes few decisions of her own.  Tell her that being out with you isn't going to result in you running roughshod over her needs and desires.

Proactivity is far better than reactivity, on both of your parts. You being proactive in setting situations up correctly, or going into a building first to see what is in there before you bring your dog in, or scouting out a location to see what your exits will be, or having enough treats with you and in easy reach and practicing what you're doing to dole them out, all of that reduces your need to be vigilant and reactive to whatever happens. You're tilting the odds in your favor, and not as likely to be surprised by a new challenge.  And proactivity is better than reactivity on your dog's part, too.  With enough practice of the management behaviors and interruptions of them attending to their triggers, they start to internalize that and offer them before you cue them. That's a way your dog is being "proactive" in handling his problem instead of "reacting" to it! In one way of looking at it, anyway.  :)